Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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