you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
