i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
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Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
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Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.