i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.