I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
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i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
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If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!