Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina

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(619): thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina http://tfl.nu/dtrt

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(708): View more from Illinois

you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!

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(708): you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas! http://tfl.nu/ibug

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(919): View more from North Carolina

So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

And that worked?

(919): View more from North Carolina

9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.

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(919): So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night. (1-919): And that worked? (919): 9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards. http://tfl.nu/moso

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(541): View more from Oregon

You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth

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(541): You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth http://tfl.nu/plwz

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(210): View more from Texas

they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird

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(210): they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird http://tfl.nu/vuhd

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.

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(405): You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's. http://tfl.nu/922r

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night

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(262): some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night http://tfl.nu/wjmk

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(757): View more from Virginia

Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.

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(757): Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete. http://tfl.nu/0fk8

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(313): View more from Michigan

Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata

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(313): Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata http://tfl.nu/0yl6

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(845): View more from New York

Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!

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(845): Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE! http://tfl.nu/hm6x

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.

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(910): Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood. http://tfl.nu/yy48

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(917): View more from New York City

will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?

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(917): will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight? http://tfl.nu/ex8f

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...

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(401): I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is... http://tfl.nu/ftaa

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.

(303): View more from Colorado

Jesus Christ you're perfect.

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(307): Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday. (303): Jesus Christ you're perfect. http://tfl.nu/7qs9

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(803): View more from South Carolina

i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo

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(803): i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo http://tfl.nu/7ggy

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