ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...