I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
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We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin