i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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