try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
