you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
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slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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