It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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