I must be too annoying 4 u.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
