It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
