Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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