she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
