I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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