maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
