yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
