so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
