The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
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