great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
