I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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