You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
send nudes
from the living room?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
