thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
