I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
