do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
