This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
