Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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