You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
even my farts smell like vagina
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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