there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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