I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
