i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
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apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
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She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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