He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
