I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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