No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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