Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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