Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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