i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
