well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
