whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
