whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
