So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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