Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize