Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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