laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize