i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
did you just send me my own nude
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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