I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
