It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think weed is turning my hair brown
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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