My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
