The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
