I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
