The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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