Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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