Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
