We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i've created a new STD.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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