Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.

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(630): View more from Illinois

im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.

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(561): View more from Florida

The beers last night were like the tears from god

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(+61): View more from Australia

Did you get my bra back of the bartender?

(1+61): View more from

I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'

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(765): View more from Indiana

Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.

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(631): View more from New York

duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!

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