He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you win again, gameday.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize