He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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