Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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