Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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