So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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