We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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