Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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