He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Boobs speak an international language.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
