He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
